Sonia Bernac

So… today it’s been whizzingwhizzing – usually vertical, hard and clear, always rhythmical, often reversed – from bottom to top, metallic, cold at the core.. Or rather… whooshingwhooshing – usually horizontal, irregular and organic, somehow plaintive, sometimes soft and wet, but always smelly., if you know what I mean. Since 8:00 pm. I know that it was 8:00, even though I didn’t look at the watch. I just always FEEL what time it is. You know, I just have this ‘biological clock’. My oldest brother, (the one who’s dead), a poor thing, he had a cancer, the doctors finished him off… start messing with the doctors – that’s a straight way to a graveyard… You go to the clinic but they only look at the screen, you know, they don’t even give you a glance, as if a computer was ill, not you, computers actually can come down with a virus as well, and my brother actually got this cancer from a virus, doctors said, but who knows? he always knew though, he knew what the time was, so he never actually had to wear a watch, and after a while his friends were always like ‘Mark, what time is it?’, and he could ALWAYS tell, on the dot, but what’s the point if he couldn’t predict his last hour? So I knew it was 8:00, cos my tv series just started. So it all starts to make sense in a way. But there’s no way I’m accepting it. We will see about that!

No, it’s not coming from pipes. I’ve lived here for a while, so I know when the pipes are shrieking. For example yesterday it was gurgling. But it started at 7:00. So has started happening earlier and earlier. Previously, it had been more discrete, with some respect and regard… So I had suspected it earlier and I was right… It was bearable when it was only swooshing. At 10.00 pm. Very feebly though… For a moment I even thought that I must have misheard that… But I have a sensitive ear. My mum also had good hearing. Once our neighbour’s daughter got ill and started choking in the middle of the night. Her own mother did not hear anything, but my mum, she’s been dead for 20 years now, she died during the surgery, her heart, unfortunately, didn’t make it,→1 but she had a great heart for her whole life, for everybody, big heart, but it didn’t make it. So that night, in a flash, she had this feeling, even though she was in bed already, so she rushed off to the neighbour, knocked on the door: “Your child is choking,” and the neighbour was like: “Jesus Christ! That’s impossible!” Possible, possible. A minute more and it would have been too late, it was the last call — that’s what the paramedic said. And she slept like a log, her husband left her, but it was a few years later, apparently he had somebody else, no wonder, she was such a sleeping beauty, her child had one foot in a grave that night… So it’s not coming from the pipes. Cos I heard it and I think I also saw that when I was closing the door. When you close them you need to hold and then push, they don’t close properly. I called up a landlord about it, and they were like ‘it’s not our responsibility you need to do that on your own, get a handyman.’→2 No, I’m not going to say exactly. But I saw what I saw.